It hurts but

The only thing worse than having him and losing him, would be to never have had him at all. I’m counting the gifts he gave me. Not just the memories which are mine forever, but the children he gave me, the ways he helped me grow and, and, and … Counting the blessings helps me. Counting the losses cripples me. What would he/she want YOU to do?

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A gift

A friend gave me this card today

“I’m There Inside Your Heart”

“Right now I’m in a different place

And though we seem apart,

I’m closer than I ever was…

I’m there inside your heart.

I’m with you when you greet each day

And while the sun shines bright,

I’m there to share the sunsets too…

I’m with you every night.

I’m with you when the times are good,

To share a laugh or two,

And if a tear should start to fall….

I’ll still be there for you.

And when that day arrives

That we no longer are apart,

I’ll smile and hold you close to me….

Forever in my heart.”

My reactions to this are mixed

It is nice (and I believe true) that he is in my heart, but I want him in my arms. Having just turned eighty four, I know it won’t be too long until that will also be true.

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In a nutshell

“Life is only a prelude to eternity, for that which we call death is

but a pause, in truth a progress into life.”    Seneca

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The spirit of your spouse is part of who you are.

“Although I am physically alone, I am the man she lived with for forty-eight years,

and she is very much a part of the person I have become in that time.”

Robert Kirven (author of “A Book About Dying”)

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A question

If you had known in advance that your spouse would die before you and how very devastating it would be, would you not have married him or her to avoid that pain?

My response to that question was YES – YES.  If I had never married him I wouldn’t have our precious children and grandchildren. If I had never married him I would not have the memories I cherish. If I had never married him I would not be who I am. If I had never married him I would not have our reunion to look forward to when I leave this world.

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Explanation

I get so much spam and so many fake comments that lead me to places I don’t want to be, that I considered closing this site. I renew it with the hope it will bring comfort to some who are suffering the  painful life changing loss of a spouse.  Records show that there are many visitors to this site – people I’ll never know or meet. But I do know something about you because we have this loss in common. I send you my prayers and wish you strength and peace. Your spouse is alive, as is the love between you.

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From “Grief Tool Box”

Death takes the physical person from our lives but there is so much that death cannot take from us. We are forever connected to the people we love. The relationship still exists just in a different form. The physical separation is momentary, the love connection is forever.

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From “For Heaven’s Sake” by Brian Kingslake

“Plato pointed out, four hundred years before Jesus was born, that the soul must survive the death of the body, because disease, or accident, or the assassin’s knife, which destroy the physical body, are physical only, and so cannot touch the soul. Therefore the soul, being undamaged, must continue as before.”

May this belief help to comfort those who have lost loved ones in Boston and in Texas this week. Also those, not in the headlines, who have also lost loved ones.

We will all be fully reunited with those we love one day. In the meantime we are still united by love.

Sending prayers for strength to all who are in the painful grieving process.

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“Proof of Heaven” by Eben Alexander, MD

An encouraging quote from Dr. Alexander who experienced what the next life is like

“Brilliant, vibrant, ecstatic, stunning…I could heap on one adjective after another to describe what this world looked and felt like, but they’d fall short. I felt like I was being born. Not reborn, or born again. Just born.”  He also explains it is all about LOVE. Our spouses await us in a beautiful world.

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Wishing you peace

May you feel him or her with you this Christmas. Not only in memories but because the spirit of your spouse is part of who you are.

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