Guilt is appropriate when we intended harm. When we know something to be wrong and hurtful, and still choose to go ahead and deliberately inflict this pain on another person.
By this measure God does not hold us guilty (nor would our spouses) for many if not most of the guilt we torment ourselves with. “If only I’d been a better wife.” – “If I had gotten her to the doctor sooner.” – “If I’d been there to say goodbye.”
Most of us did the best we could in a stressful situation. If your spouse could speak to you, I do believe the messages would be of understanding and gratitude for the good things you shared and will share in the future.