It occurred to me that my last post might not be comforting, as intended. Rather than my deleting it, let me explain. I believe the reality of our being spiritual beings, who for a time live in natural bodies, can help us to understand that we are not completely separated from our partners. Our spirits – our love for one another continues. Maybe my last post would just make us want to join them now. No, we are still here for purposes that will contribute to even greater possibilities for our happiness together. It’s difficult to feel or understand this when we long to be with them, but I believe they understand and experience this. They are with us and a part of us in ways that we can’t fully appreciate.
We are spiritual beings living in natural bodies. On reflection we know that our spirits, our loves, thoughts and feelings, are more real than our physical bodies. Your spouse is now a spiritual being living in a spiritual body. This body a true representation of his or her spiritual qualities. When we next see them, we will recognize them immediately because the qualities we love about them will shine in their appearance. When we see, hear, and embrace them we will discover how real and superior the senses of the spirit are.
“…it is physically very healthy to cry, regardless of whether or not it feels awkward or embarrassing socially. The reason people will frequently report feeling better after a well-placed cry is doubtless connected to the discharge of stress-related proteins; some of the proteins excreted in tears are even associated with the experience of physical pain, rendering weeping a physiologically pain-reducing process. Conversely, the state of clinical depression – in which many of the body’s self-healing processes appear to ‘shut down,’ including, often, emotional tears – is most likely exacerbated by the tearless victim’s inability to adequately discharge her pent-up stress. Psychologists refer to freely weeping as an important stage in the healing process. But although this notion may appear to be psychological in origin, involving the confrontation of one’s own grief, it also just applies physiologically: crying can reduce levels of stress hormones.”
What this means in simple language is – It is important and useful to cry when you are grieving!
All Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul ‘s Cathedral
In remembrance of your spouse this Christmas.
Put a holiday bowl or box containing Christmas gift tags with strings attached near the Christmas tree. By means of a sign or by word of mouth, invite all to write on a card some gift they received from your spouse during their life. They might say things like “He made me laugh” or “His support” or “Her Example”. Have them hang these on the tree. I love this because all ages can participate and can hang as many as they like. I love the idea of finding new ones to read as the days pass and the possibilities of these generating conversations about him or her. Such tags are sold in packages of 10 or so at any card shop, drug store, Target or K-Mart.
There is not any evidence against the afterlife, although people argue against the positive evidence often saying there is not enough proof. By saying there is not enough proof points to the fact that proof does exist. So life after death cannot be disproven but the evidence for it must be looked at carefully.
Religion has given us many teachings and messages that there is life after death and our souls go there when we die. In fact the afterlife is often seen as the main reason for existence. The life on earth, in most religions, is just a temporary phase. These messengers and religions cannot be dismissed as evidence for the existence of an afterlife. For most people, just one religion is all the proof they need to believe in an afterlife, but their belief is backed up by all the other religions with similar beliefs. These ideas and teachings did not come from nowhere. They come from a shared understanding of the truth of existence. If only one religion taught of life after death, then it could be dismissed. But the fact is it is a common and major part of most religions. Is it possible that they could all be wrong? To come to the conclusion there is no afterlife then every single one of the sources of evidence would have to be disproved. This has not been successfully done.
“Tears are the jewels of remembrance – sad, but glistening with the beauty of the past.” Larry Yeagley
“Recall it as often as you wish, a happy memory never wears out.” Libbie Fudim
“In this season of light, remember the light your loved one has brought to your life. Light a special candle – not in memory of a death, but in celebration of a life and a love shared.” Darcie Sims
Buy a gift for your spouse that you will keep as a memory. A painting he/she would like, a nick knack that tells something of his/her interests, a ring to wear representing ongoing love, a CD you would both like, a sturdy tree or bush to plant and watch grow, or something you had both been considering buying for the home.
