Widows and Widowers-Still United

Buy yourself a gift from your spouse. What might you have asked for if he/she was here? Imagine his or her pleasure in your having it.

Find another widow you know who is also facing Christmas without her husband. Invite her over or meet for lunch to share challenges and memories. This can be a gift to her and a gift to you.

Write a positive Christmas letter to your spouse. A letter of gratitude and love. (Leave out the pain in this letter) Write what you imagine his or her response might be. This is a gift that can bring you closer to one another.

Make a donation in his or her name to a cause he or she cared about.

Create (or have made) a DVD or album of photos. Be sure all of the people in the pictures are identified and if possible, the occasion or circumstances when the photos were taken.

Write the story of how you met your spouse for children and grandchildren. Or write something about his or her history they are not aware of. There are stories about both of you that might be lost when you pass on. These will likely be treasured by generations to come.

Stationary and office stores, some drugstores and other places make photo Christmas cards. You’ve all received or sent such cards with family photos. Have a card made from a favorite photo of your spouse or your spouse and you together. Send these with a personal message to children and grandchildren. If you do not need many, you can buy individual cards that have a place to insert photos. See if you can find pictures that include the recipient. These are cards that will be saved and treasured.

As gifts for significant people, have a pillow or pillows made from his t-shirts or her scarves or other clothing. Different sized cushions for covering can be found at any fabric store. Also, online, you can find places that make quilts from clothing.

At a Hallmark or Christmas store look for ornaments that have a place to insert a photo. Have a photo reduced and duplicated at an office store or drug store to fit the ornaments. These can be lasting gifts to family members and friends. They will likely be hung every Christmas Season as a reminder of this special person.